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Respect and Responsibility = a Better World
If you think you have it bad, take a walk in another man’s shoes. Or, look outside your own inward-turned consciousness and see just how bad others around you have it, too. Growing up, I was constantly being challenged to find something so bad in my very dire existence, that I couldn’t see where it could be worse. My wise and visionary parents armed us with trunk loads of reasons why we shouldn’t complain about our lot in life…and, a few of those reasons actually stuck. It’s hard, even now, for me to complain about material niceties I don’t have, or the opportunities that someone – other than me – kept out of my reach. If I think long and hard enough, I can find some way or reason that I could have made things better for myself. But, then, the easiest way is always to point fingers and throw a cup of blame in someone else’s front yard. Aretha Franklin sang about R-E-S-P-E-C-T. Who of us didn’t rock and bob our head to that soulful tune? It was much more than just good music, there was a wonderful, profound message there, as well. And, it came along at a time when we were brave enough to demand R-E-S-P-E-C-T, from a world that hadn’t thought we were deserving. Now, 40 years later, we’re beyond that. Sort of. In fact, we should expand on Aretha’s message, by attaching one four-letter word: SELF RESPECT. Not to be confused with self-centeredness or egotism. No, Webster’s defines self-respect as: due respect for oneself, and one’s character and conduct. In the end, none of us can give due respect to our fellow man, until we’ve mastered the art of self-respect. Neither self-respect, nor responsibility suggests that there is now a level playing field; or, as one president once suggested, the problem with the poor was their refusal to pull themselves up by their own bootstraps. No. But, certainly, those of us who are healthy of mind and body should take responsibility for shaping the world we say we want and deserve. And, it is our responsibility as human beings to bring those who aren’t able, along with us. Arming ourselves with self-respect and a healthy sense of responsibility might mean we no longer internalize all the things we read in our newspapers, that we refuse to watch Jerry, and Ricki, and the rest; and, that we expand our circle of friends beyond those whose conversations have become a broken record - commiserating on the troubles of our world. And self-respect and responsibility doesn’t mean the people we choose to run our world, and our country, are automatically off the hook. It does mean that we begin to open our eyes, and know that when our savior does return, he or she likely won’t be wearing Gucci suits, or Brooks Brothers’ ties. It’s about us putting the right perspective on what a political leader is; and, knowing that those men and women who sit in the oval office and the Houses of congress are just that…men and women, with frailties, prejudices, and personal agendas that may not include our best interests. Should we allow mere human beings to decide our worth, our lives or our futures? With all due respect to my parents’ line of thought; I can clearly see that, even after arming ourselves with self- respect and a sense of responsibility, there may be room for genuine complaints. Just think what our world would be like if Douglas, and Martin and Malcolm and Fannie hadn’t complained. I might still be down in Gould, Arkansas depending on the pounds of cotton I could pick, or the rows of cotton I could chop – to guarantee my station in life. My child, and yours, might be forced to whittle down their dreams to mere existence. And, nobody other than you or me would know just how much potential there is inside people who look and think like we do. So, there is validity in complaints…if, and only if, they’re joined by genuine interest in making this a better world - not only for ourselves, but for our neighbors. There is a very real correlation between what’s wrong with our world, and what we aren’t doing to make it right. We, as full citizens of this world, have a responsibility. Complain if you must, but always ask that magical question: What is it that I can do to make it better? Janis F. Kearney is a Chicago writer, former journalist and diarist to President Bill Clinton. A Harvard W.E.B. Du Bois Fellow, she is currently completing William Jefferson Clinton from Hope to Harlem; and a personal memoir, Cotton Field of Dreams. Kearney Communications 5138 S. Kenwood Ave.#2 Chicago, IL 60615 (773) 493-2007 --ph (773) 493-5747 --fax janisfk@aol.com |
